• Patrick McAndrew

When Your Life is Out of Control

How in control do you feel over your life?  Do you feel that you decide what you do?  Do you feel like you’re a prisoner to your job or to a relationship?  How many of you feel like your life is passing you by as you waste away?

I may be preaching to the choir here.  Simply put, many of us do not feel in control of our livesIn an article written by Karen Salmansohn on Psychology Today, Salmansohn discusses how the number one contributor for happiness is your autonomy, defined as “the feeling that your life — its activities and habits– are self-chosen and self-endorsed.”

It comes down to control.  How in control do we feel with regards to our daily routines?  There seems to be a direct correlation between control and happiness as highlighted in Salmansohn’s article.  She quotes, “In fact, when you’re upset about something in your life – a love break up, a job problem, your weight – it’s usually because you’re feeling as if you’re no longer in control of this area your life and bigtime lacking autonomy.”

Salmansohn says we need to increase our “internal locus of control.”  How do we do this?  By making small, easy changes as well as disciplining our schedules.

Case in point, many of our schedules are not disciplined.  We are bombarded with information at every minute of every day.  If we allow it, it’s surprisingly easy to get overwhelmed.  Before we know it, the day is over and we are so fried that we just want to relax.  Can you blame us?  But because our days are not productive and the important tasks needed to get done are lost in a sea of irrelevance, our evenings follow suit.  We are consumed by information that is not beneficial to us.  We get caught up in useless e-mails, meetings, and tasks, that we lose control.  We lose focusWe lose sense of what is important.

We are all the captains of our own ships.  Ask any captain of a ship where they are going, you can bet anything that they will know.  If you ask them how to do this or that, they will know.  How come we don’t know?  Why is it that we are so unclear in what we need to do?  Our ships are out of control in a sea of nonsense.  We need to take back control of our ship.  We need to take back control of our lives.  Because if we don’t, we will be lost at sea or on a deserted island without a goal to strive for.

Take back control of your life.  Map out your day.  Stay the course.  If we don’t do this, we will end up lost, confused, and overwhelmed, and not sure where life is taking us.  Irene C. Kassorla, a well-known author and psychologist, has a great quote.   “The pen that writes your life story must be held in your own hand.”  Remember this.

What are your thoughts?  Do you feel in control or out of control?  How do we fix this?  Comment below!

Your friend,


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